All hail the God Of War! Uncanny Fox here, finishing off this year’s string of holiday reviews with a look at a classic from the third season of DC’s Legends Of Tomorrow, titled “Beebo, The God Of War.” I figured that with Christmas coming this week, and the first half of Crisis On Infinite Earths having just aired, the time is right to mention this (in)famous episode where Vikings worship a Furby. Yes.
And I finally get to talk about The CW’s expanded universe of DC Comics shows, known affectionately as the Arrowverse. It all started, fittingly enough, with Arrow, which told the tale of Oliver Queen, aka the Green Arrow, and wowed audiences with its winning mix of gritty vigilante action, heartfelt drama and shirtless men. In the second season of that show, viewers were introduced to Barry Allen, aka The Flash, and he was soon given his own spin-off the following year featuring a more lighthearted tone and actual superpowers. From there, a third series was set up, consisting of popular supporting characters from both of the other shows.
This series, titled Legends Of Tomorrow, features a team of heroes traveling through time aboard a ship named The Waverider, working to stop the schemes of various evildoers who wish to alter the course of history for their own ends. Things started out fairly normal, with Time Master Rip Hunter putting together a motley crew of superheroes and reformed villains to prevent the rise of the dictator that killed his family. However, as the show went on things got progressively wackier, with the Legends getting themselves in even crazier situations involving Confederate zombies and a theme park of mystical creatures. And the trailer for the upcoming Season 5 promises Ray Palmer as Mr. Rodgers and puppets getting it on. All of this is true, and Beebo bless it for that.
But when Season 3 was airing, the team was tasked with fighting an evil time demon named Mallus, who wished to rule over time with the help of villains like Gorilla Grodd and newly-resurrected Damien Dahrk (who met his downfall at the hands of Oliver back in Arrow Season 4 and had a stint in the sinister Legion Of Doom in Season 2 of Legends). Making matters worse here is the recent death of Martin Stein, aka half of the hero Firestorm, at the hands of the Nazis of Earth-X during the mutli-show crossover of that year. And this is where the episode of today’s review takes place…
For this review, I’m going to go over the crazy parts of this episode, which is most of it anyway because this is insane. First, the episode starts off in a store called “Toys Are We” in 1992, where a young Martin Stein is looking to pick up the hottest new toy for his daughter on Hanukah: a doll named “Cuddle Me Beebo,” which is kind of a play on Tickle Me Elmo. The place is packed and it’s the last one in Central City, and to make matters there’s just one more toy left on the high shelf. So, what does Stein do? While the other parents charge after it, he grabs a toy bow and arrow and, while the Arrow theme plays in the background, fires at a toy plane, causing it to fly into a banner, which knocks the Beebo off the shelf and into his hands. The High Ground is no match for one Martin Stein.
From there, he makes off to the exit as the angry mob of shoppers chase him and a sped-up rendition of “Hanukah, Oh Hanukah” plays in the background. In other words, a typical Black Friday. Suddenly, he’s whisked away by a flash of light and transported to pre-settlement North America… and a mob of Vikings charge at him, because the poor guy can’t catch a break. You see, the Anachronism (or issue that the Legends have to solve in a given episode) takes place during the Vikings’ attempted settlement of the new world, which they would abandon after converting to Christianity. At least, that’s what’s supposed to happen…
We then cut to the Waverider, where the Earth-X version of Leonard Snart (known in his world as Citizen Cold, who served in the Resistance against The New Reichsmen) consuls the rest of the group on Stein’s death… with a puppet of him. Like I said before, this is a show that really likes puppets. And the cool, calm voice Snart uses as he pulls the puppet out just cracks me up. Everyone’s reaction to this is priceless. Amaya and Jax can’t bring themselves to talk to the puppet at all, Sara and Zari are off doing something else, Ray asks it some questions about physics, Nate gives Snart tips on how to act like Stein, and Mick just beats the crap out of it because he hates puppets. He’s really not going to like Season 5 then, by the look of things…
The next crazy moment comes as the Legends investigate the Level 12 Anachronism (they needed to invent a new Level just for this) in Erik The Red’s “New Valhalla.” As it turns out, in the altered history the Vikings never left the colonies due to their adaptation of a new god: Beebo. Seriously, the Vikings worship the doll on an alter and tickle him for godly wisdom on what to do about the Natives who live on the land they wish to conquer. It’s something else to see the little blue stuffed monster say that he’s hungry in a cute voice, only for the Norsemen to interpret it as a cry for battle.
It turns out Erik’s sister is twisting Beebo’s words to suit her own goals of conquest, so the Legends set out to retrieve the doll, as its presence in the past is altering Christmas, or “Beebo Day” as its being called. They sneak into the Viking’s Yuletide feast later that night, but they get caught when Mick tries to steal some ceremonial mead from the “blue god.” So, they haul out the toy and tickle him to pass judgement on the thief, leading Beebo to decide that he is to be burnt at the stake. We get this exchange: “Beebo hungry!” “Your god demands justice. To the pyre!” The writers earned their paycheck this day.
Things get really crazy when the Legends try to save Mick from his ironic execution. Leo puts out the fire with his Cold Gun, leading the Vikings to decide that Beebo wishes for mercy on Yuletide. Amaya and Nate then get caught trying to steal the idol, leading to a fight between Legends and Vikings that ends with Mick torching Beebo. Because he hates puppets.
Erik declares Beebo to be a false god (how do the actors say these lines with a straight face?) and tells everyone that it’s time to give up on the colony and return to Greenland. Then Damien Darhk shows up in a flash of lighting, all decked out in Viking gear and declaring himself as Odin. He and his daughter Nora tell the Vikings to prepare for battle against the Natives, telling them that they will conquer the New World in the name of “Odin Day.” In the Arrowverse, this is what kids read about in History Class. Then again, ancient Japan already features the Joker building a Megazord out of Shogun temples, so maybe this is par for the course…
With the Anachronism getting worse and no backup form the Time Bourgh, the Legends pull one last ploy to save history: while Sara, Nate and Zari distract “Odin,” the Vikings are visited by… Beebo, aka Ray speaking inside the doll, who tells them to worship their true God, Jesus (but that doesn’t mean that science and evolution aren’t real), and return to Greenland… which is probably melting due to Global Warming, which is also real. And it turns out he isn’t wrong about that. Despite “Beebo’s” efforts to defuse the situation, a battle soon breaks out which ends with Darhk teleporting away after Nora is hurt. Now, I know it’s not difficult to be a better evil dad than Malcolm Merlyn, but there you go.
In addition to the wackiness of the main story, there’s also a subplot about Leo trying to convince Mick to give up drinking, which ends with Leo admitting that he still hasn’t moved on form the death of his own version of Heatwave… and he decides he should just let Mick keep drinking himself to death. Okay… Also, there’s some nice development in the budding relationship between Sara and Time Bureau agent Ava Sharp, as we see the latter defy orders to help Sara with the Anachronism and dropping a tidbit about how she “isn’t the husband type,” which Sara quickly notices. This is the point where they begin to move away from the “bicker and annoy each other at every turn” stage and closer to the “make out as puppets” stage. The natural course of any relationship, really.
Of course, there are some somber and even scary moments, like Jax’s whole subplot about coming to terms with Martin’s death. He just lost the closest thing he’s ever had to a father, and feels that he wasn’t strong enough to save him as the two were forced to sever their link to keep Jax from dying as well. In fact, everyone misses him, even as Sara tries to keep a stiff face by telling everyone to lock up their grief and focus on the mission at hand. This is made worse by the fact that their latest mission has them dealing with the younger version of Stein. And all the while, they have no choice but to keep him in the dark about his future, even though Jax wonders if the group is meant to prevent it.
Zari tells him to “find a loophole,” which he attempts by giving him a letter explaining what becomes of him in the future, but this ends for naught. Stein ultimately decides not to read it, and in a touching moment tells Jax that he’s lived a great life according to what Jax told him, and if he dies at the end of it, so be it. And that’s the point. From Jax’s perspective, Stein is a ghost who’s already reached the end of his journey, while Jax’s has just begun. In the end, Jax decides to leave the team to pursue a life beyond Firestorm, even though he does come back in the Season 3 finale to cheer Beebo on as he battles Mallus. Yes, that happens.
We also find out that Rip was imprisoned after his threats about Mallus, who seems to be growing stronger with Darhk and Grodd on his side. And speaking of Mallus, we get our first hint at him when Sara grabs ahold of Dahrk as he retreats to the demon’s dark realm. We don’t actually see him yet, but the dark fog and John Noble’s creepy voice give the appropriate vibes. Ava yanks her out of there and is rightly concerned afterward, but Sara insists she’s fine…even if she’s clearly rattled by what she saw and felt in there. Of course, Mallus does lose to Beebo at the end, so the scare factor goes down somewhat, but still.And at the end, John Constantine arrives with news of a demon possessing a little girl, one that knows Sara’s name…
Now before we wrap things up (Christmas pun not intended), here’s some highlights:
- “I want you to take all of your feelings about Martin and put them in a box. Then I want you to close the box. And then you’re going to lock the box.” It fits Sara’s character too, given how she’s been dealing with death and loss over the course of two shows at this point.
- Sara’s little “I’m Beebo, I love you!” bit cracks me up.
- Jax was playing as Jax in MK. I see what you did there. Especially since Jax’s latest Arcade ending had him traveling through time…
- The way Snart puts out the pyre with his Cold Gun and quickly pulls it back is pretty smooth.
- “I accidently squeezed him.” “He’s so damn huggable.”
- Seeing the Legends planning out their strategy for stopping Darhk was pretty neat.
- “Performance Anxiety?” Not the first time someone’s made that joke at Darhk’s expense…
- Get this, the guy who plays Erik in this episode is actually named “Thor.”
- Darhk’s plan depends on the Vikings forgetting that Odin has only one eye.
This episode is a blast from start to finish. Aside from the Snart/Mick subplot that pretty much went nowhere, everything is well paced and the plot is just delightfully insane. It’s worth watching just for the sheer novelty value of the Vikings worshiping a freaking stuffed animal, and it gave the Arrowverse one of its funniest memes in the form of the great and powerful Beebo. The Blue God would make more appearances on Legends, as well as the other CW Shows, and its always good for a chuckle… even if the little guy’s getting dumped with acid or blown up most of the time. There’s also some nice closure on both halves of Firestorm, as Jax at least gets to say a proper goodbye to his friend and surrogate father, and we see that despite his death, Stein managed to live a happy and fulfilling life, and gave his life as a true hero.
Well, that was a relatively easy set of Christmas reviews as compared to last year… Anywho, that’s it for 2019. I hope you all enjoyed your year, and I’m looking forward to another one filled with more reviews in 2020. ‘Till next time, I’ve been The Uncanny Fox. Live long, stay gold, and if you all don’t mind, I believe I have a movie to catch. You get three guesses as to what it is, and the first one doesn’t count.
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