Gotta go fast! Uncanny Fox here, continuing my annual series of Holiday Special reviews with a look at the 1996 animated special, Sonic’s Christmas Blast, based on that ever-popular and super-speedy video game icon, Sonic the Hedgehog. The Fastest Thing Alive. Except for maybe The Flash, The Reverse-Flash, Zoom, Savitar, Kid Flash, Jesse Quick, Speedy González… I’m pretty sure Quicksilver and Dash from The Incredibles are on the same level as him…
Anywho, if your reading this blog I probably shouldn’t have to tell you who Sonic is, but just in case: created by artist Naoto Ohshima, programmer Yuji Naka and designer Hirokazu Yasuhara to serve as a competitor to Nintendo’s Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog blasted his way onto the Sega Genesis in 1991, wowing young gamers with his speedy gameplay and “rebellious by early 90’s G-Rated movie standards” personality. I myself remember playing some of his earlier games at a friend’s house once when I was younger (and sucking at them, ashamed to admit), before getting a Genesis of my own and the first two titles, then following along on the Gamecube and beyond for the rest of the Hedgehog’s 3D adventures.
Of course, the subject of this review is from one of the many TV shows featuring the Blue Blur. Before Sonic Boom, before Sonic X, even before that weird one where he had two siblings and was a rock star or something, there were not one, but two Sonic cartoons airing at about the same time in 1993. The first was the dark drama Sonic The Hedgehog (or SatAM, as fans affectionately call it), which aired on Saturday mornings and featured Dr. Robotnik ruling the world in an oppressive dictatorship and forcibly converting the civilians into his robot minions. The second was the lighthearted comedy The Adventures Of Sonic The Hedgehog, which aired on the weekdays and featured Dr. Robotnik attempting to take over the world of Morbious via all manner of wacky hijinks. Also, Sonic did PSAs about Stranger Danger.
A Christmas Special was produced for the latter, originally titled “An X-Tremely Sonic Christmas” to promote the then-in-production Sonic X-Treme. The name was changed to “Sonic’s Christmas Blast” after the game was cancelled. Oddly enough, it aired on November 24, 1996, a good 3 years after the show it was connected to ended. At least this one actually aired at Christmas time…
After a Christmas-themed version of the Adventures of Sonic intro that’s filled with spoilers for the episode (seriously, the ending is in there!), it begins in the city of Robotropolis (the place from the SatAM show, albeit looking much nicer here), where the mix of anthropomorphic animals, Hey Arnold and Doug characters who live there gather at the middle of town as Santa makes an announcement over the Jumbo-Tron. Or rather, a poorly made robotic duplicate of Santa, who’s stiff movements are a dead giveaway that he’s not the real thing. Eggman’s LMDs need work.
“Santa” has some bad news for the boys and girls of the city: he’s retiring. But fret not, as he’s already got another overweight guy who wears red and sports distinct facial hair ready to take over the holiday gift delivery service: Dr. Robotnik (this was before the American games started using “Eggman” as a nickname in keeping with the Japanese name), who walks in wearing a poorly-fitting Santa suit with a fake beard that doesn’t match his mustache. I see he’s taking the Hollywood Hogan approach there.
Now dubbed “RobotnikClaus,” the bad doctor (voiced by blues singer Long John Baldry, who did acts with the likes of Elton John and the Rolling Stones) bows to the audience as his two bumbling henchman Scratch and Grounder (before Orbot and Cubot, before Decoe and Bocoe, there was these guys), cheer him on, before arguing over which cheers he liked better. RobotnikClaus “humbly” accepts the role Santa’s seen fit to hand him, and pledges that he will carry on the work of his predecessor, with some slight changes…
He then heads to one of the stores for the whole “kids sitting on his lap and asking him for stuff” thing… or rather, him asking them for stuff. You see, in Mother Russia, the kids have to give Santa gifts now. One little boy in particular, who was shown being worried earlier, isn’t buying it and lands a punch right in Saint Nik’s Egg-Gut. After the kid chews him out for his scam, Robotnik calls for “Helper Elf” Grounder to chain the boy up in his robot factory to “teach him the Christmas Spirit.” So instead of coal, RobotnikClaus gives Naughty kids 10 years of hard labor for Christmas.
As the poor kid is being hauled off to the sweatshop, the scene switches over to Sonic (voice here, as he was in every 90’s Sonic show, by Jaleel White of Urkel fame) and Princess Sally Acorn, who’s in this special despite originating from the other Sonic show. Which opens a whole other can of worms, since in this show Sonic macs on other girls all the time. Also, she’s pink here for some reason. Wrong love interest, guys. Then again, there was that time she took a bath and ended up pink for a week, so maybe this takes place during that. Sonic tells her to not say another word (I’m guessing Kath Soucie had other commitments) as he reiterates their apparent Christmas deal to skip getting each other gifts this year.
He then runs over to Tails, who’s just standing in the middle of the snowy wilderness for some reason, and leads him off on another round of “juicing and cutting loose” across the countryside. Turns out Sonic intends to get Sally a gift anyway, seeing how they made a similar deal last year, only for Sally to get Sonic the Flash Ring. A Flicky in a nearby tree notes said ring and asks what the lightning bolt-like symbol on it means; neither Sonic nor Sally knew.
Anyway, Sonic reasons that when a Princess says “no presents,” they really mean “lots of presents.” In other words, Elsa wants you to run that grudge into the ground. Back to the show, the Blue Blur needs to go to Robotropolis for some last-minute shopping, despite Tails’ warning that the place is typically crawling with Badniks. But Sonic snarks that Sally will be even more dangerous if Sonic shows up empty handed again, and he assures his fuzzy sidekick that they’ll zip in and out of the city before Robotnik even knows they’re there.
Over in the city, Scratch and Ground are shaking down one of the Doug people for presents. The poor guy begs them not to take anything, since he just lost his job and had to sell all of his furniture to pay for his sick wife’s medical bills. Ever the compassionate ones, the robots just decide to take his house, and Grounder whistles for an excavator to snatch the place up whole. Then the two elf bots get into an argument about how to say “ho-ho-ho” while they leave the poor homeless dude to live on the streets.
Later that night, Sonic and Tails arrive at the store from before to find the place stripped to the bone. According to Sonic, this is the fourth store like this, and Tails notices a pack of robots loading presents into a large truck outside. The lead bot announces that they will deliver said gifts to RobotnikClaus, prompting Sonic to zip off to check out the situation.
As he’s chasing off after the truck, Sonic gets called over by the kids from before, who apparently escaped from the factory. He tells Sonic about how Santa retired and put Robotnik in his place, only for the mad scientist to take all the presents for himself. A tank starts barreling down the road, leading Tails to shove them both into a corner until the coast is clear.
The boy asks Sonic to bring Christmas back, but just then Scratch and Grounder arrive in another tank to brag about how they hid Santa someplace Sonic will never find him. Apparently, he didn’t so much retire as much as he was kidnapped. The robo-chicken goes on about Robotnik made the crappy fake Santa to trick everyone into thinking he was Santa’s replacement, then tells Sonic and company that they’re planning to take them out with a giant metal present with spikes on the bottom. The present falls on them in dramatic fashion as the commercial break fades in…
Only for Sonic to zip them out of the way. Duh. He then launches a Spin Dash at the tank, climbs aboard, and messes with the controls until the giant magnet that was carrying the present scoops up the evil robots. Sonic drops them onto the pavement below, destroying the fake Santa (who’s got an extra eyeball popping out of his head for some reason) and leaving Scratch and Grounder to literally pull themselves together.
Sonic then rolls up in a garbageman disguise (complete with a mustache similar to that of his arch-nemesis) and tells them that they’ll have to clean the mess up and pay a fine of 10 thousand Robotnik-Bucks (I’m guessing that was the money Eggman drew up when he took over the White House in that one episode of Sonic X). The bots argue that it was Sonic that wrecked the place, and “the garbageman” trolls them for a bit by asking them where the real Santa is, before revealing that he is Sonic. He shoves his garbage trolly at them and leaves for the ice cave they said Santa is being held. And Scratch lets Grounder break the bad news to Robotnik, since it’s the Holidays.
Over at RobotnikClaus’s “workshop,” the worker bots are building a bunch of chimneys for people to deliver their gifts for RobotnikClaus. And speaking of, the not-so-jolly one is flying around in a helicopter demanding more to be built. Scratch and Grounder then radio in from the ground to break the bad news of Sonic knowing where the real Santa is being held. And Grounder has a butt for some reason. What, did Robotnik hire the Batsuit Designer from Batman & Robin?
At least in some shots, as its gone when Robotnik berates them after a scene transition. Because they let the cat out of the bag, they aren’t getting a Christmas card this year. He then orders his other bots to alert the “SWATBots” standing guard that Sonic is one his way to bust Saint Nick out, and for Scratch and Grounder to make up for their failure by ending the Hedgehog once and for all.
And speaking of, Sonic and Tails are sledding across the mountains as the latter complains about not bringing his Long Johns. But you never wear pants anyway… He then sees the prison up ahead… along with the SWATBots. They roll out a cannon to fire giant icicles at the heroes, and after a pun about getting a “cold reception,” Sonic zips over to take it out by sawing a circle in the ice around it. The cannon, and the bots alongside it, are pledged into the frigid water beneath them, and Sonic waves hi to a seal before heading in the prison to free Santa.
Inside are more SWATers with laser guns, but Sonic runs right past them and gives the creepiest smile ever. I’m pretty sure it’s a meme somewhere. He looks around for Santa, finding him locked in a cell nearby and breaking him out without much difficulty. With the clock ticking, Santa tells him to get him to his workshop on the double.
But when they get there, one of the elves breaks the bad news that Robotnik ransacked the place, making off with every present that was set to be delivered that night. Santa laments that Christmas is ruined, but naturally Sonic isn’t ready to give up just yet. But despite offering to help, Santa goes on about how Robotnik has won. Seriously, Santa is so glum here, and he gives up hope almost instantly. It’s actually kind of amusing in a way.
After another break, Sonic offers to run over to Robotnik’s base and steal the presents back, but Santa tells him that there isn’t enough time, even with Sonic’s speed. Geez, so much for keeping the Christmas Spirit. But he then sees Sonic’s ring, and the symbol on it, and gets an idea…
He leads them back to the cave he was being held captive, pointing out the hieroglyphs adorning the walls. One of them matches the symbol on the ring, and Santa explains that it can unlock a secret power called “Ultimate Velocity.” In other words, super speed. The thing Sonic already has. Its literally his main defining trait. Santa tells him using it will make him go faster, faster, faster-faster-faster, but to gain this power he’ll have to complete “three impossible challenges.”
The first one is to… run up a mountain… which he does in three seconds by running up it. I guess these are only “impossible for people without super-speed” challenges. The next one is… snowboarding downhill. Aka something he does in pretty much every game. And there’s not even an avalanche this time. There is Scratch and Grounder, however, who set a giant beartrap for him…
…Only for him to see it coming a mile off and swerve, burying the two bots in snow. Then the trap goes off on them. At the base of the cliff is a hang glider conveniently hovering in the air waiting for somebody to use it (this is based on a videogame, after all), which Sonic grabs and takes off flying. Wait, that wasn’t in Santa’s description…
As he glides, Scratch and Grounder bicker with each other over who’s fault that last hick-up was, before the Blue Blur drops his snowboard on them. After some more gliding, Sonic jumps on a bike and starts peddling… hold up, is this all one task? This is sounding more like that reboot of Fear Factor from a few years back, where the final stunts would be so over-the-top that the show was half over by the time Joe Rogan finished going over the instructions.
Sonic jumps over a gap, cycles past a thin bridge of ice, races through a group of closing ice walls, and jumps over a low tunnel, running overtop it before landing back on his bike at the other side. He then cycles through some water, catching a fish in his teeth that he gives to a nearby polar bear. I… have no idea what’s going on anymore…
Once he’s finished (we don’t see the third challenge), it’s night, and Santa despairs over how, despite Sonic unlocking “Ultimate Velocity Super Sonicness and Extreme Speed,” there’s still not enough time to get the presents back and deliver them. I mean, holy crap Santa. Sonic isn’t fazed though, and proceeds to zip over to Robotnik’s castle. As the doctor sings “Merry Christmas To Me” and bragging about how happiness is better when it’s based of the misery of millions, Sonic whooshes in and steals back all the presents, along with the Santa suit off Robotnik’s back. Once he’s gone and one of the Doc’s robot cronies reiterates what just happened, Robotnik gives off his classic catchphrase in this version, “I hate that Hedgehog!”
As he curses Sonic’s name, the Blue Blur zips around the world itself, sending all of the gifts in Santa’s stead. He soon reaches the house of the kids from before, who’s all bummed that Christmas is ruined as we see that his living room is stripped dry. Suddenly, Sonic swoops in to redecorate the bare tree and leave a bunch of presents under it. Now happy, the boy heads to his window to thank Sonic and wish him a Merry Christmas.
And speaking of Christmas and presents, Sonic even manages to get some for Sally, who’s waited by a fire when her boyfriend zips in, dumps a crapload of boxes on her, gives her a kiss under the mistletoe and heads back to the North Pole.
Santa thanks Sonic for saving Christmas, and makes a shocking announcement: he realizes that it is time for him to retire (I mean, you’ve done nothing but give up this whole episode), and he names Sonic as his successor. So yeah, Sonic is Santa now. And no, he doesn’t turn it down and remind Santa of why he does what he does with a heartwarming speech or something, he actually takes the job. And this was the final episode of the series. This is how the show ends. Sonic becomes Santa. At least the old one didn’t have to die this time… Tails and Sonic break the fourth wall to wish everyone an “X-Tremely Merry Christmas,” (I guess the title change happened late in production) and the credits roll.
I… wasn’t too crazy about this one. There are parts of it that are kind of fun to watch, but those are the types of things you get as a part of Sonic anyway. The second half, featuring Sonic completing the not-so-impossible challenges, drags on for too long, feels largely disconnected from the Christmas premises and doesn’t even follow through with the topic at hand – we didn’t even see the third challenge, unless the hang-gliding part was that… or was it the cycling? Its too confusing. The rest of the episode is alright, and I’ve got to admit that Sonic becoming Santa out of the blue at the end was kind of funny, so I guess this is fine enough to sit the kids down. Of course, that description can be used for countless other Christmas specials, and this is still pretty by-the-numbers.
Okay then, we’ve got one more week until Christmas, so what do we rev…
The doorbell rings.
Fox: Excuse me Eva, I’d better get that…
He walks out of the room for a moment, then comes back holding a present.
Fox: The card on it says to go ahead and open it now…
He does so, pulling out a familiar fuzzy blue toy.
Fox: Awww, it’s Beebo!
Eva: What, what is a “Beebo?”
Fox: Oh, sit back Eva my dear, I know exactly what we’re reviewing next week. ‘Till then, I’ve been The Uncanny Fox. Live long, stay gold, and I just realized that both Dr. Robotnik and The Grinch pretended to be Santa in an effort to steal Christmas. And now Jim Carrey has played them both…
The Uncanny Fox 